The name on the email seems vaguely familiar. Giselle Jones? Is this someone I should know? A moment passes, and then I remember she is a student who took my intro to it all class maybe three, maybe four years ago. My curiosity is mildly piqued. I open the message:
“mr. scholar,
“u have to
send me a copy of your fall 2007 syllabus.
i took ur class at snoflake and now im in college in utah and my adviser
wont transfer the credits from ur class without a syllabus. she says its the only 1 i need all my other
classes r ok.
“i called big
campis and they said u didnt work at snoflake anymore and i was really
confused so i e mailed somebody else i don’t remembir her name i dleted the msg and they
said u were still there.
“she said she
would tell u to send a syllabus but u never did and now im e mailing u. i need this rite now ok?
“giselle
jones”
I search my memory a moment and recall
forwarding a copy of the Fall ’07 syllabus to an administrative assistant who
had requested it on behalf of Ms. Jones.
I am certain that the admin followed through. While the life of the mind at Snowflake
College* leaves much to be desired, I’ve never known our support staff to drop
the ball. I suspect the shortfall is on
the student’s end. I wonder which college she’s transferred to,
and why Utah? I conclude that Giselle is
either a devout Mormon or she’s majoring in skiing.
I reply:
“Dear Ms.
Jones,
“I’m sorry you
haven’t received your requested copy of the syllabus. The person with whom you spoke at Big Campus
is in error; I am still employed at Snowflake College. You could have avoided any delay by contacting
me directly.
“I’m sending
you the syllabus as an attachment.
“Regards,
“Unassuming
Scholar”
I click “Send” and decide this is the
end of this episode. Ms.
Jones and I will each live happily ever after.
Nearly two weeks later Ms. Jones replies,
perhaps to thank me for my kind assistance.
Alas, the news is not what I had hoped for:
“i cant open
ur file. i really need this now.”
Ah, another “digital native” who can’t figure out the most widely used word processing program in the world! Just to make sure, I open the file on my computer. No problems there. I respond,
“Ms. Jones,
“My
apologies. Perhaps there was a glitch
that prevented the file from opening.
I’m resending it. Please let me
know if you have any further problems.
“Sincerely,
“Unassuming
Scholar”
Still another two weeks pass. At this point, I figure the matter is at last closed. And then, another missive from Ms. Jones,
“mr. scholar,
“ i still cant
open ur file. why dont u send me the
rite 1? My adviser needs ur syllabus asap
or i dont get credit for ur class and i cant graduate on time.
“i cant
believe this. ur the worst teacher ever.
“giselle
jones”
I take a deep breath, suppress the urge to tell her to go piss up a rope, and carefully prepare my response.
“Ms. Jones,
“Flattery will
get you nowhere. Nevertheless, I have
cut and pasted the requested syllabus into this message rather than attaching
it as a Word file.
“If that
doesn’t work, I don’t know what to tell you.
You’re on your own.
“Cheers,
“Unassuming
Scholar”
It’s been a month now and there hasn’t been any further word from my erstwhile student. No news is good news, right? And yet first thing every morning I peer warily at my email inbox…
* A tip of the hat to the blog College Misery (http://collegemisery.blogspot.com) and its much-missed predecessor, RateYourStudents.com.
© 2012 The Unassuming Scholar
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